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UFC

Jorge Masvidal Lawyer/ Manager accuses Colby Covington of breaking his teeth when he kissed him

On March 12th, a week after Colby Covington was victorious at UFC 272 against Jorge Masvidal he was allegedly attacked by the Cuban Native outside of a Miami Steak House Restaurant. Reason for the alleged attack is due to Covington revealing personal information about their previous sex life, Colby revealed that they was lovers before their relationship went sour.

After the attack Colby Covington called the police which resulted in Masvidal getting arrested and charged with felony battery.

On April 26th, Masvidal attended court after missing the initial date. In the court appearance his Lawyer/ Manager Malki Kawa after realising Masvidal was facing the worst punishment ever, a wrestling match with Covington attempted to prove Masvidal’s innocence by accusing Covington of breaking his tooth when he kissed him during their fight at UFC 272.

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UFC

Islam Makhachev announces retirement after being offered to fight RDA…To adopt Hasbulla and run off in the sunset with Khabib

Islam Makhachev and Rafael Dos Anjos was set to fight more than once. The first time Islam pulled out in 2020 with a severe fractured labia and second time at the beginning of the year when he offered to replace Rafael Fiziev for 10 million dollars, 3 goats and one virgin woman.

Obviously UFC President Dana White couldn’t meet his demands by granting him 3 goats and one virgin woman so the fight failed to materialise the second time, while getting accused of ducking RDA in same time.

It almost seemed like Islam Makhachev is doing everything not fight RDA, running away from him like a sheep runs away from a wolf.

Nevertheless the Dagestani native was once again offered to fight RDA this upcoming summer. After the news broke out Islam went on social media and announced that he is retiring from MMA, and plans to adopt Hasbulla and run of in the sunset with Khabib Nurmagomedov.

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UFC

Michael Chandler lands role for the Muhammad Ali movie remake ahead of UFC 274

Michael Chandler who is due to fight Tony Ferguson at UFC 274 has shown interest in acting for some time, like when he acted to be black during the UFC Black History Month promotional videos last year.

Chandler even took the time to go train with Aljamain Sterling to improve his acting skills because if you want to be the best you got to learn from the best.

With all the hard work and dedication Chandler has finally snatched his first acting role and yes it is once again acting to be a Afro-American in the lead role of the Muhammad Ali remake.

Director of the Muhammad Ali remake, Famous successful comedian Snuki Schaub has revealed earlier today that after serious consideration he has selected Chandler to star in the lead role.

Snuki Schaub

Mr Snuki had the following to say with regards to factors that influenced him to pick Chandler:

“Looking at Michael’s last performance against Justin Gaethje he impressed me with the way he pretended to be a punching bag so I knew right then and there he was the right person for the role”

Chandler did a Instagram Live where he celebrated getting the role and had the following to say:

“Float like a Chandler, Sting Like a Chandler. With a tear in my eye I must say it’s hard to be humble when I will be the greatest actor that has ever graced the earth. I am pleased to announce that I will be staring in the lead role of the Muhammad Ali movie remake, God Bless.”

It was also revealed that the other two options for the lead role for the Muhammad Ali movie remake were Mike Perry and Katlyn Chookagian.

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UFC

Reason why Dave Chapelle was attacked on stage revealed…He was confused with Brendan Schaub

Famous Comedian Dave Chapelle was tackled today on stage by a angry fan, luckily Chapelle wasn’t hurt but the same can’t be said about the individual who attacked him.

The face of the guy who
fucked around and found out.

Even though a unfortunate incident it did have a happy ending, at least for most people but what people was most curious about it was why has this individual attacked Chapelle.

In a exclusive interview with Brent Welwany a witness that goes by the alias of “King of Bitches” had the following to say:

“This skinny f*g I see mad, he look like need wheelchair. He go to stage and on way there scream he must stop Brenda Schaub before make joke. I guess he confuse Dave with Snuki.”

According to the witness it appears that the attacker confused Dave Chapelle with Brendan Schaub which at first didn’t make much sense because one is very funny on stage and the other was only funny in the Octagon. Looking deeper into this, going as back as Ultimate Fighter 10, Kimbo Slice also though that Brendan Schaub was black so now it makes sense why the individual confused Chapelle and went on the stage. The implications of Schaub telling jokes are quite nuclear and attacker’s reasons now seems warranted.

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UFC

Elon Musk announces 2024 presidency run with the aim of becoming first African born US President…Joe Rogan to be nominated for the position of Vice and receive unlimited N-word pass

The famous billionaire Elon Musk has been in the news recently for different reasons, more so due to the his purchase of Twitter.

His purchase of Twitter caused havoc in the mainstream media due to concerns of loosing control of what kind of misinformation gets released to the public. Musk seemed to have caused an immense amount of chaos even within the US government where they formed “Minister of Truth” organisation with Brent Welwany being in control of the operations.

Musk initial announcement with the confirmation of being the new Twitter owner is nothing compared with his intention of running for 2024 US Presidency that he made public in a tweet minutes ago.

In his tweet he made his intentions clear of running for the Presidency position in 2024 and will nominate Joe Rogan as the Vice-President.

If successful, Musk will become the first ever African born US President in the History and promised he will give Joe Rogan unlimited N-word pass and make DMT mandatory in every household.

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UFC

UFC confuses Pat Barry with Rose Namajunas father in a now deleted post on Instagram

Social media is not always perfect, sometimes due to the platform itself that has faults, other times due to human error. Generally the individuals that run social medias are anonymous or less known and with UFC is no different.

Last time Rose Namajunas defended her belt against Zhang, after coming out victorious a footage appeared online of Rose embracing two individuals in the stands on her way backstage. The person running the UFC Instagram social media assumed that it was her parents only to be told otherwise by Rose herself that they are not.

Assuming that is the same person who made the first mistake they will not do it again, but once again they messed it up, but this time even worse by confusing Pat Barry with Rose’s father.

In all honesty even though if you make the same mistake more than once nobody should have an excuse but considering the situation we can understand why the person behind the post made the confusion because Pat Barry is old enough to be Rose’s father The post was quickly deleted after only three minutes.

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UFC

Twitter reveals reason why MMFPress account was suspended …Spreading miss information by labelling Brendan Schaub’s comedy special as “funny”

Three days ago everybody’s favourite fake news account was suspended without any notice from Twitter. MMA fans around the world lit a candle light to pay respect for the fallen news press, even Nate Diaz’s training partner Jake Shields showed lit up a joint in honour of MMAFPress.

With the majority of the MMA community being in tears over the tragic loss of the most reliable news source what people wanted to know is why it has suspended. After 3 gruelling days of searching for the truth it has finally arrived. The reason for the suspension is due to spreading misinformation by labelling Brendan Schaub’s comedy special as “funny”.

Twitter executives in their response to our appeal explained that labelling something as “funny” when is obvious horror is totally unacceptable and against terms of service.

One employer from Twitter said the following: “They deserve to be banned because they spread fake information, like when they said Joe Rogan will move his podcast to Blacked.com due to the N-word controversy. Totally unacceptable especially considering Matt Hamill would make a better comedian than Brendan Schaub.”

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UFC

Jon Jones postpones return to Heavyweight due to landing new movie role in a romantic comedy with Amber Heard

The former Light Heavyweight Champion Jon “Bones” Jones has been in talks with the UFC to make his Heavyweight debut against Stipe Miocic. Only last week Jones announced by posting a picture on Instagram that he would be ready in July but Miocic isn’t.

Jon Jones being ready for Stipe Miocic

Jones appeared to be highly disappointed of Miocic not being ready even though he spent over two years out of competition due to USADA suspension. And initially the New York native said he will wait until September but that all changed. Announcing via Instagram live that he will postpone the fight until 2023 due to other endeavours.

His new endeavour is highly unexpected and it involves the movie industry where he landed his first ever role. He will be involved in the making a new movie called “ The Prefect Couple doesn’t ex’s…” . Another notable actor is none other than Amber Heard who together with Jones will form the ultimate toxic couple.

Even though Jones is new to the movie industry, he will bring in his experience from every time he would pretend to be a god christian after he would screw up and also his initial nickname used to be “ Sexual Chocolate” which goes very well with Amber Heard bowel activities.

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UFC

Breaking: Amber Heard to face Derrick Lewis in a catch weight bout at UFC 276

Following a lengthy legal battle Amber Heard was found guilty to not be house trained and as punishment for defecating in Johnny Deep’s bed will have to face Derrick Lewis at UFC 276.

The announcement was made by Dana Black in a exclusive interview with our lead reporter Brent Welwany. The bout will be at catch weight.

Mr.Welwany concerned about Herd contacted the commission to get some clarity on how this match-up was sanctioned. The Las Vegas Athletic Commissioner Jonny Bonny had the following to say with regards to the matter: “We are fully aware of the concerns with regards to Miss.Heard so we decided that she is to wear a diaper in the Octagon to prevent the situation turning brown”

With the commission appearing to have everything covered, we reached out to Amber Heard her self where she left the following comments with regards to her facing Lewis at UFC 274: “ I am so excited to face Derrick that my bowels are getting hot”

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UFC

Brendan Schaub releases new comedy special that is actually funny..His UFC knockout loss highlights

Since his forced retirement from UFC, former Heavyweight Brendan Schaub has attempted to start a new career in comedy. His stand up comedy venture has been the same as his stand up in the UFC but that didn’t deter him from releasing a new comedy special.

His special came out today exclusively on YouTube which features his knockout losses highlights” which for once is actually funny. You could say his comedy career started and ended with his UFC career.

Looking back at it seems like his famous retirement talk from Joe Rogan caused more harm than good, and the reason I am saying that is because Matt Hamill has better stand up comedy skills than Schaub, him doing comedy is like Jon Jones teaching driving lessons. Nevertheless his new comedy special is out and can be enjoyed below.

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UFC

Just In: Ali Abdelaziz banned from Twitter after it was discovered he hacked his fighters accounts to sell PS5

Recently the news broke out that billionaire Elon Musk purchased Twitter for a whooping amount of 44 billion dollars. Musk promised that free speech will finally be available on the platform with the exception of Dillon Danis.

After Danis was banned, Musk wanted to show he is unbiased and announced the banning of another African-American as himself from the platform. The individual is the most well known MMA manager Ali Abdelaziz.

Abdelaziz was discovered to have took over his fighters Twitter accounts and attempted to sell Play Station 5 to their followers in a scamming attempt. In the investigation done by our lead reporter Brent Welwany it was discovered that Abdelaziz used his mind control to take control 19 accounts at once.

Ali Abdelaziz using his mind control to tweet from 19 accounts at once

In a interview with Welwany, Musk said the following about Abdelaziz being banned: “It breaks my heart to have to ban another African-American like my self but I want people to Noah that I make no exceptions”

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UFC

After buying Twitter, Elon Musk announces he will produce the new Muhammad Ali movie remake…Michael Chandler and Mike Perry to star in the lead roles.

The internet, more especially Twitter went in “nuclear alert” when Elon Musk made the announcement that he offered to buy the platform. The news of Musk buying Twitter being confirmed yesterday actually caused a “nuclear” frenzy making a bunch of snowflakes to evaporate from the platform.

Musk didn’t stop there and announced even bigger plans, he announced he will be producing the upcoming movie remake Muhammad Ali which will feature Michael Chandler as Muhammad Ali and Mike Perry as Sony Liston.

Musk honoring his African-American heritage by giving opportunities to other African-Americans like Michael Chandler and Mike Perry is nothing short of impressive.

The movie is due to come out next year on February 29th 2023 and will be first movie to be held on Twitter which will be on the updates spaces that will feature the ability to watch a movies online with friends.

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UFC

Halle Barry announces production of Movie Bruised Part 2 in retaliation of Elon Musk buying Twitter

With today’s news of Elon Musk buying Twitter for 44 billion dollars many celebrities have come out disagreeing with the purchase. How can they silence people they disagree with if Twitter will actually allow free speech.

A large number of people have gathered today in front of Twitter Headquarters in San Francisco holding protests. Some of the protesters that our lead journalist Brent Welwany was able to recognise is Tyron Woodley, Mike Perry and famous movie actress and movie producer Halle Barry.

It appears that all this African-American celebrities are totally against Musk owning Twitter, especially Barry who announced that she will start production of the movie Bruised part 2.

The movie will be centred around two female fighters competing against each other in Khabib Nurmagomedov’s MMA promotion Eagle FC, the fight will be the first ever female fight that was put on in the promotion and the two athletes are Fallon Fox and Alana Mclaughlin.

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UFC

After buying Twitter Elon Musk announces his first action as CEO…”He will ban Dillon Danis indefinitely”

After nearly a month of the news breaking out of Elon Musk offering 44 billion dollars to buy Twitter and a lot of back an forth with the Saudi Arabia Prince, the African-American has finally defeated the woke mob and acquired the beloved platform.

Musk didn’t waste any time time and straight away went to work, announcing his first action as CEO of Twitter. He announced that the first thing he will do as the new owner of Twitter is to indefinitely ban Dillon Danis from the platform.

When asked why by our MMAFPress Lead Reporter Brent Welwany, he had the following to say: “Dildo Denise is a cancer to society and the faster we get him off Twitter,the better “

Musk also announced that going forward he will verify the MMAFPress Twitter account as is the most reliable news source in the MMA community.

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UFC

US government to try new method to eliminate pollution…To tell Jon Jones it contains Cocaine

After years of research and multiple failed attempts, the US Government has finally found a solution on how to effectively combat and exterminate pollution. The Biden administration will tell the former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon “Bones” Jones that it contains Cocaine.

Today In a press release, the Secretary of State announced that they have arranged with their state owned propaganda tv channel CNN to broadcast the previous mentioned information so it reaches Jones in no time.

They also announced a plan B if by any chance plan A aka Project Pictogram is not successful, plan B involves having Brendan Schaub new comedy special being televised in every household in US with the purpose to discourage the population from polluting the environment.

If God forbidden plan B doesn’t work they last atomic option, they will have Tyron Woodley’s music on every radio station playing 24/7 without stop to discourage everybody from polluting the environment. Hopefully that can be avoided.

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UFC

Belal Muhammad receives severe backlash after shouting Nickleback in his post fight interview

Belal “Remember the unanimous decision” Muhammad received severe backlash after shouting out Nickleback after his rematch with Vicente Luque.

Backstage during the post fight interviews Belal when asked by one reporter what inspired him to start fighting he gave a shoutout to the musical band Nickleback. He went on to explain how they inspired his fighting style. Muhammad said the following on how he compares himself to them:

“When I was young, I looked at Nickleback and said to my self, I want to be like them. The lack of skill and entertainment that it takes to get as hated as Nickleback is nothing short of impressive, I want that”

Our MMAFPress reporter Brent Welwany asked if he can explain further what he means by it and Belal had made the following bullet points and gave his reason at the end.

  • If you want to see the best raper you look at Woodley.
  • If you want to see the best comedian you look at Brendan Schaub.
  • If you want to see the best actor you look at Aljamain Sterling.
  • If you want to see the most hated musical band you look at Nickleback

“I want to be the best at something. That’s why i got into this sport so since grappling, wrestling, striking or charisma is none of them i will be the most boring fighter ever”

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UFC

Breaking: Our sources report that Colby Covington called the police to report a robbery after watching Aljamain Sterling vs Petr Yan at UFC 273

After Aljamain Sterling retained his belt at UFC 273 our sources reported that Colby Covington called the police due to witnessing a robbery.

Sterling managed to retain his Bantamweight belt against heavy favourite Petr Yan in a exciting fight that many believed The Siberian native won. Sterling wining caused mass hysteria between MMA fans, with even Yan himself accusing the judges of being intoxicated.

Many fight fans called a close fight a robbery with Covington being the one that disagreed with the decision the most. He even called 911 and had the following to say:

“Hello 911, I’d like to report a robbery. My name is Karen Covington and I take a knee for the first responders please send SWAT immediately”

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UFC

Khazmat Chimaev announces retirement after Gilbert Burns fight..to run off into the sunset with Darren Till

Fresh off of his bloody victory over welterweight contender Gilbert ‘Durinho’ Burns, Khazmat Chimaev has decided to call it a career. Borz (Wolf) told MMAFPress following his three round fight that it would be his last in the Octagon. Chimaev explained how a big distraction prevented him from having the performance desired at UFC 273, he couldn’t sleep because of Darren Til’a snoring and stinking feet. Nevertheless he did find a mistress in the same period that managed to steal his heart.

He announced to our lead reported Brent Welwany that he is retiring from MMA and will run away with his mistress to buy farm land in Arkansas next to Bryce Mitchell. The plan is to live in a trailer happily ever after while hunting squirrels and going to swinger clubs now and again.

Khamzat had this to say and it goes as follows:

“Brotha I love the Smesh the octagon but I love the Smesh bed even more. I know I Smesh machine but also love is strong brotha so me and my mistress run away to Arkansas and fighting over”

Now the question is “who is Khamzat Chimaev’s mistress?” who stole his heart and his mind and made him retire or could it be that Gilbert Burns hit him to the head too many times? he did broke the record for blows Chimaev received in one fight in UFC.

After a long and very thorough investigation our lead reported Brent Welwany has discovered that his mistress is none other than Darren Till.

Jason F (MMAFPress Staff Writer)

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UFC

Jorge Masvidal threatens to release his sex tape with Colby Covington if don’t drop the charges

Jorge “Gamebred” Masvidal and Colby “Chaos” Covington started their MMA careers as lovers that eventually turned sour. The culmination point was when Covington cheated on Masvidal with his father.

The two settled their beef at UFC 273 with Covington “coming on top” of Masvidal and even landing a devastating kiss on the Cuban native.

After their fight Masvidal didn’t appear to be over Covington, telling him that he will be “seeing him soon”, showing that the love is still strong.

Masvidal kept his promise and surprised Covington with a two piece and a flower to his face. Covington totally didn’t expect the flowers where his jaw and a tooth dropped.

Covington still not over their rough breakup reported Masvidal to the Police which resulted in his arrest.

GameBred with a broken heart resulted to his last option that he had available, he threatened to release a sex tape of him and Covington if he doesn’t drop the charges. He will release all their wrestling sessions where he was getting dominated by Covington with Tyron Woodley singing in the background.

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UFC

Petr Yan confirms that Joshua Fabia will corner him for his UFC 273 title fight against Aljamain Sterling.

Petr Yan has confirmed he will only have one person in his corner at UFC 273 against undisputed champion Aljamain Sterling – combat sports trainer, Army Ranger and School of Self-Awareness founder, Joshua Fabia.

Interim titleholder Yan fights Sterling in the co-main event of this weekend’s card in Jacksonville, Florida. The Russian will be without his usual corner team for the title fight as they were denied US Visas last month.

The decision comes after tough sanctions have been issued on Russia following its invasion of Ukraine in February.

Yan, from Sverdlovsk Oblast, Russia, explained: “I am going to have a coach in my corner, it just happens to be Josh Fabia.

“He’s just going to be there to make me feel good and make me look good.

“If it even goes to the second round, it’s because I want to give him time to talk to me in the corner. I want him to share his ancient wisdoms and modern innovations and tell me to ‘go get him.’”

Fabia’s leftfield training approach for Yan leading into his clash with Sterling has involved cardio walks through amusement parks, watching Japanese manga series “Attack on Titan” for fight visualization prep, hanging upside down in an abandoned warehouse and being slapped by Fabia, and being stripped nude and tied to a cane chair with the bottom torn out and then having his dangling testicles whipped by Fabia with a knotted rope.

Fabia has been a controversial figure since he first started making public appearances with Diego Sanchez ahead of Sanchez’s fight with Michel Pereira at UFC Rio Rancho in February 2020.

Yan is the betting favourite ahead of his rematch with Sterling despite the American currently holding the undisputed title. The pair fought at UFC 259 last March when Yan was disqualified for landing an illegal knee.

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UFC

Tyron Woodley announces release of new rap album in celebration of Jake Paul second fight being overturned due to testing positive for estrogen

One man’s carelessness is turning into another man’s astonishing opportunity. Former UFC Welterweight Champion Tyron Woodley has announced a new rap album on the heels of his second fight with Jake Paul being over turned. The Problem Child was popped for elevated levels of estrogen after an in-depth search by anti-doping experts. Now Tyron plans to rap about it.

Woodley gave MMAFPress an inclusive insight to some of his lyrics.

“Many say I was robbed, I knew it was an inside job, Paul you’re a slob, get on your knees and polish my knob. I’ve been here before, it’s all the same, don’t you know I am the game? Now it’s you juiced up and on the run, my right hook is like a gun, there’s a reason why I’m the chosen one.”

Woodley also gave a list of song titles for the new rap album:

Overturned and Burned
Hopped UP on the Girlie Juice
Chaos Theory Part Deux
Blue Belt in Boxing
I tested Positive for Love
Benjamin’s for Estrogens

Jake Paul hearing the news about Woodley’s foray back into the rap music world is considering hiring Woodley for a live performance at the next Triller event. Woodley has yet to confirm this. Meantime Jake will co-star with his brother Logan and Martha Stewart on a new Pokémon Themed Cooking show set to debut this Fall.

Jason F (MMAFPress Staff Writer)

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UFC

Charles Olivera lands new role in upcoming movie named In “The Brazilian Detective”…the porno movie will be released on June 69th