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Khazmat Chimaev announces retirement after Gilbert Burns fight..to run off into the sunset with Darren Till

Fresh off of his bloody victory over welterweight contender Gilbert ‘Durinho’ Burns, Khazmat Chimaev has decided to call it a career. Borz (Wolf) told MMAFPress following his three round fight that it would be his last in the Octagon. Chimaev explained how a big distraction prevented him from having the performance desired at UFC 273, he couldn’t sleep because of Darren Til’a snoring and stinking feet. Nevertheless he did find a mistress in the same period that managed to steal his heart.

He announced to our lead reported Brent Welwany that he is retiring from MMA and will run away with his mistress to buy farm land in Arkansas next to Bryce Mitchell. The plan is to live in a trailer happily ever after while hunting squirrels and going to swinger clubs now and again.

Khamzat had this to say and it goes as follows:

“Brotha I love the Smesh the octagon but I love the Smesh bed even more. I know I Smesh machine but also love is strong brotha so me and my mistress run away to Arkansas and fighting over”

Now the question is “who is Khamzat Chimaev’s mistress?” who stole his heart and his mind and made him retire or could it be that Gilbert Burns hit him to the head too many times? he did broke the record for blows Chimaev received in one fight in UFC.

After a long and very thorough investigation our lead reported Brent Welwany has discovered that his mistress is none other than Darren Till.

Jason F (MMAFPress Staff Writer)